The Tale of Ursula the Sea Witch

You may know the story of Ariel, the Little Mermaid. However, I find Ariel to be pretty dim and one-dimensional.  Ursula is the real star of the show. 

 Before I get to Ursula, though, I have to remind you that Ariel is beautiful and, against her father's wishes, she covets things human, including Prince Eric.  Blah, blah, blah.

Ursula, the incredibly evil and dynamic sea witch with a booming voice, covets Ariel's father's powers over the sea.  She wants to rule the world, like Hillary Clinton or Princess Celestia.  She will do whatever it takes to get her way, including tricking a gullible mermaid into giving up her voice. Although she doesn't have the body of a goddess, she knows how to work it.  And her hair is amazing.

Ursula is basically a rock star.  She uses Ariel's voice to capture the heart of Prince Eric, who seems kind of dumb, if you ask me. (Prince Eric never notices that Ariel doesn't speak.  And he spends a whole day with her?!)  In a deal with Ariel's father, Ursula becomes the President of Disneyland.

 At some point Ariel sings some weird non-word music.  Aaaah-aah-AAAH.  Aaah-aah-AAAH.

Then, somehow, Prince Eric vanquishes the Sea Witch and rescues Ariel.  And Ursula fades into oblivion.   Most of you probably think this is a happy ending, but I just think it's sad.  Ursula will be back for the sequel, though.  You can't keep a good girl down.

May I play Prince Eric?

Gotta Dance!

One class and I think I'm a dancer.

I've got style.

 I've got grace.  (You knew I was going to have to use that line one of these days.)

 And... well... yes, I give good face.  (Stupid lyrics.)

Let's Eat!

So it's true, I have a tooth.  Hortencia, my Chief of Staff, discovered it on Friday and let the rest of my team know the good news.  Everyone's pretty excited about it.

To be honest, I'm quite excited about it, too. It means I get to eat real food, which is amazing.  If you look closely, you may be able to see the tooth.  It's my bottom middle right one, just pushing through.  It's not the strawberry-beet puff that's so dominant in this photo.

You probably can't see it, but keep looking!

Young Conservatives, Unite!

Behind my new haircut, that is.  And while I have your attention, let's talk about the Dems' ridiculous threats to the time-honored filibuster, shall we?

Learning New Tricks

Today, I figured out how to use my legs when I crawl instead of just pulling with my arms and dragging my body along the floor.  It makes so much sense to use the legs; I don't know why I didn't think of it before.

Now, I can go anywhere I please.

Oops!  You caught me climbing outside of my crib.  It won't happen again.  I mean, either I won't do it again or you won't catch me doing it again. You'd better keep a close eye on me.

Jump Around!

 My cousins Haley and Julia really know how to take care of me.

 They know what I like.

 And what I like is a trampoline.

 Sometimes jumping and jumping can be exhausting and I just have to fall down.

Thanks, Cuzzos.  Let's do it again!