Rocket Man

Hi. It's me. Ben. I'm just checking in. I have nothing new to report, but I didn't want you to forget about me.

OK.  Maybe I'm a fan of Elton John.  Don't judge me.

The Dating Scene

 So, I've been seeing a few ladies.  You know, checking out the field.  Why not?  I'm not getting any younger.

Anyway, I recently met up with this little lady, Zoey, at the park, which is kind of a scene.  Zoey and I had known each other for a while, casually, but we decided to go on a date to see if it felt right to take it a little further.

 She seemed a little forward, but I played it cool.

Zoey had some moves, I have to admit.

And really it was all her, because I'm just not that mobile yet.

But then she got a little rough, and I was like, "Easy, Zoey."  

Does anyone have a cigarette?  No, I kid.  Cigarettes are gross, so I've been told.  If you smoke 'em, please quit.  They're no good. 

Hi. Grace here.  I just have to say that my brother is ridiculous.

Happy Monday!

 Hello! I'm glad it's finally Monday and I can relax, because it was a pretty wild weekend for me.

 I washed my hair.  (As you can see, it's kind of fluffy when it's clean.)  I laid around on the floor and in my bed.  I watched a little football on TV.  Then I laid around on the floor some more.

I attended a swell dinner party Saturday night, but I slept through the impromptu dance party.

I even talked my sister into kissing my feet, which is pretty disgusting if you ask me.  She seemed to think it was funny, though, so I'll probably get her to do it again sometime.

A New Year, A New Workout

 Welcome to 2013 and my new fitness routine.

 To start off, you must wear a ski hat, and your feet need to be this far apart.

 Now, extend the arms.  And squat.

 Keep extending the arms, and straighten the legs.

Extend the arms some more but higher.  And don't forget to wear the ski hat; the ski hat is crucial.  A few weeks of this and you'll be thanking me for your new body.  Believe it.

Tricks Are for Kids

In 2012, people tried to pull a lot of fast ones on me. One of the most popular was to try to get me to take a mid-day nap by pushing me around the neighborhood in my stroller until the gentle movement lulled me to sleep.  It was child's play, really.  After a while, I would start babbling as if delirious from exhaustion.  Then, just when my handler least suspected, I would climb out the back, ready to continue my day.  Hah!  Just because I'm only three years old doesn't mean I'm an idiot. Good luck to you all in 2013!

Merry Christmas and Goodnight!

 Ben and I just hopped on the computer to say goodnight after a long and fruitful day.  We hope you all received everything you asked for, like a robot, and a doggie, and a kitty, and a doll.

 I have no idea what's happening.

Don't forget to sneak that last piece of candy before heading off to bed -- even if you've already brushed your teeth. 

Let's do this again next year!

A Gentleman Caller

 An old friend came to visit on Saturday evening.  It was great to see Harry again, after such a long time, and we carried on like best buddies.

 I think he was taken with my charm and sly wit, if not my unrefined style.

And I can't deny that I may have feelings for him, too!